3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
worst night to have a conscience
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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