I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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