I wish I only lived at night.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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