well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
