Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
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Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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