She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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