Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
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Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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