This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
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He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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