she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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