nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
