I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
