woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
