Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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