then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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