I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
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