It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
