I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
