his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
