dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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