no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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