apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
