That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
