Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
