I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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