Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
