piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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