I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
