i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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