I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
