You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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