i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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