And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
