I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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