I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
