I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
420 ftw
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
