Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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