dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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