Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
