how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
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buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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