So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you had me at cake vodka
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
