We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
