She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
