I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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