I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
