nut hugger
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
