I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
His nipple licking is glorious
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