Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm like, not good at living.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
