She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
