If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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