sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize