a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
