someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
