How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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