We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
