This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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