Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
