It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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