Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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