trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
