He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize