the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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