yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
