put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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