I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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